Today was my birthday.
And I’ve almost never celebrated it.
My selective memory tucked away all my childhood birthdays—I remember none of them. I got used to not giving them importance, to living them as just another day.
But today, Vonna told me:
“You were born 45 years ago today. That’s worth celebrating.”
I paused.
I had never given any value to the day I arrived in this world.
And thanks to her message, filled with love, I understood something:
celebrating a birthday is an act of gratitude.
So today, I celebrated it in my own way.
Letting the day flow,
with no expectations,
no heavy desires.
I gave myself space.
I gave myself my own company.
The day started early. 6:30 a.m.
I don’t know why I woke up so early—I had gone to bed late, a glass of wine too many, and an odd feeling lingering.
A friend had invited me to dinner.
I accepted like you accept grabbing a beer—Converse, leather jacket.
But the dinner turned into oysters, a gorgeous wine, an easy conversation with laughter. I felt really comfortable.
But, as often happens, all I could give was affection and respect.
When I woke up, I started reading Robert L. Whitmore's story.. Slowly. Feeling it.
Imagining every scene in detail.
I got emotional.
Connecting with something so intimate from someone I deeply admire and care for—
it overwhelmed me.
I felt a vibration run through my entire body.
A kind of gratitude I don’t have words for.
I just wished I could hug the writer.
Thank him for existing, for being by my side, for believing in me.
I sent him a simple “thank you” on WhatsApp.
But the word “thank you” wasn’t nearly enough.
It didn’t carry even a fraction of the feeling.
Still, I know that even in person I wouldn’t have found the right words.
I probably would have chosen the wrong ones.
Because sometimes emotions can only be shared through a hug.
Through a moment when heartbeats connect and fears dissolve into silence.
I fell asleep again.
I had no plans to work today.
I stayed in bed until 11.
My back still aching from so many boxes.
My mind slow from nights without rest.
It’s been two crazy weeks—production deliveries and the opening of four stores.
When I finally got up, I took a shower and headed to the shop.
Vonna was there. So was Pierre. Later, Alicia showed up.
And, without expecting anything, between laughter and warmth, they surprised me with a little cake and a gift—a day at the spa.
There was a note that said:
“We love you, boss.”
I got emotional.
But the emotion came from somewhere deeper.
From the freedom of being myself without fear,
from knowing I’m no longer scared of being betrayed like I once was.
I felt free to care, to protect, to love the ones who choose to walk beside me.
And I have to say it:
They are the most amazing professionals I could dream of.
Without them, this would all be... dull.
We work with laughter, with purpose, with excitement.
And each of them will carve out their own path in the company.
They’ll go as far as they want.
Because they are free.
And without freedom, there is no road.
Together or not, for a season or for life.
There was one moment I’ll never forget.
On a video call with the rest of the team,
laughs, surprise—
and a cake with candles blown out by the wind.
I said:
“They went out because my wishes are already fulfilled.”
And it was true.
I’ve spent years fighting for my career.
Fighting for my emotional health.
And now, at 45, I feel like something beautiful is happening.
I’m learning to accept myself.
I’ve embraced my traumas, my inner child.
And now, I can be myself. Without fear.
I no longer run from family.
It comforts me to be near them.
I no longer work to escape.
I work to enjoy.
Of course, not everything is perfect.
Loneliness walks with me.
I still don’t let romantic love into my life.
Fear plays its old tricks, sabotaging what I secretly crave.
Still, “thank you” feels too small.
It’s not enough to express everything I feel.
I’ve learned to let go.
To love unconditionally.
To find joy in watching the people I love fly high.
After all the love I received from my beautiful team,
I joined some friends for lunch at Casa Jondal.
A delicious meal.
A beautiful moment.
And because I’m a restless soul by nature,
I wandered into the gorgeous store “Particular” at the beach club.
I met the manager—a stunning woman with incredible energy.
I told her about the possibility of collaborating with Benibeca.
Let’s see where it goes.
I have a good feeling.
At 7 p.m., freezing, I said goodbye.
All the excitement about seeing Petra’s show or heading to Pikes faded.
I was exhausted.
I slipped into something cozy, left my phone far away,
put on a movie (a rare treat these days), and unplugged.
When the movie ended, I felt an almost hollow space.
It was still early.
After so many days of noise—
sharing a flat in Mallorca with the team,
warehouse hours, store hours,
friends, talking, talking...
and so little space for me—
that silence took over.
But then...
it turned into pleasure.
The pleasure of intimacy.
Even if just for a few hours.
And now, feeling calm, grounded, happy—
I’ve written this chapter.
I hope you’ve enjoyed it.
I’m about to meditate, to reconnect with Vipassana, that beautiful technique I’ve missed these past few days.
Then I’ll go to sleep.
Sink into my bed.
Because this weekend...
is going to be wild.
So here’s a little more of me.
With love,
for anyone who enjoys the read.
Kisses and a little hug.